Narrated in Jack Bauer 24 style. Please add the bleeps after the times, and I will add the ’damm its’. I was so excited, one of things in my top ten bucket list was to go to Festival de Cannes with an extra bonus of being with Monsieur X who was kind enough to invite me.
What shall I wear while travelling? What look shall I go for when I meet Monsieur X at the airport? What shall I take? What shall I buy? What What What? Usually when I have gone to France to visit him, I have travelled light, but not this time I was going for a week and planned to buy every bit of Cannes merchandise I could find. I paid for the extra baggage and spend weeks before departing checking the Internet for information about what stars might be attending.
Then that f**king volcano went off!!!! Damm it number 1!
I left my home at 1.30am on Monday 17th May 2010, my flight from Luton to Nice was still going ahead even thou all other UK airports were closed apart from Luton. So I caught my coach at 2am,arrived at Luton Airport at 4.15am and all I could see was red screens and ‘cancelled cancelled cancelled’ etc etc all over the TV screens. Merde!
Plan B: Take the train from the airport to London. But there was a fire at Luton train station. Damm it!
Plan C: I caught the coach and called Monsieur X not to go to the airport who was hung-over and half asleep. ‘I'm coming by land’ I said. He moaned‘ Eh D’accord’ and went back to sleep.
5.00am: Bus to London Victoria Coach Station. £15
6.00am: Arrive in Victoria, half of the coach head towards the Eurostar the another half to the coach station. What do I do? What do I do? Other than panic! Ok deep breathe, the coach station was nearer and I could get to Paris by 17.00. Last train to Cannes from Paris 17.30. Merde! Ticket Office doesn’t open until 7am
7.00am: Ticket office opens - fully booked no tickets for Paris until Wednesday - Damm it!
7.15am: Take the tube to St Pancras railway station/Eurostar.
7.30am: Arrived at the Eurostar office, not much of a queue, a good sign I thought. Wrong! That’s because Eurostar workers were telling passengers there was only a few seats available on the 9am train and the next available train was at 16.00!!!!!
I call home and ask my sister to try a book online, save time waiting in the queue for the few remaining seats. She told me the website crashed! Copy That! - I head for the train ticket office.
8.30am: Brought train ticket to Dover. £33
8.45am: Took a train to Dover, call Monsieur X to update him, no answer, continue to call him all morning, no answer. I should of noticed the signs.
10.10am: Arrived in Dover, I hadn’t a clue where to go. No one around. I followed a French family to the shuttle bus stop.
10.45am - 11.30am: Arrived at the Ferry Ticket Office. Brought ticket to Calais. £18
11.30am- All aboard!! Took the ferry to Calais, try and get some sleep. Switch off phone to save battery.
14.30: Arrived in Calais, foot passengers left to defend for ourselves, no signs, bus stop, directions, or tourist information. Rien! And it starts to rain. Shuttle bus finally arrives and takes us to the bus stop.
A kind Englishwomen could see I was stressed ( I didn’t think I would make it to Paris never mind Cannes) and gave me advice on train times to Paris, as she was heading that way. There was no way I was going to make that last train. Merde!
15.10: Took the bus to Calais Train Station - it’s pissing it down and I’m soaked. Monsieur X finally wakes up and calls me. I can tell he isn’t very happy about all the trouble I’m caused. Maybe I knew that he might never invite to the Festival again and thought this was my only chance to go.
15.30: Made it to the train station and found my Guardian Angel, a very helpful ticket seller who spoke perfect English. After a few minutes of talking with my Angel with Monsieur X, shouting at me down the phone, telling me to ask for other routes to Marseille, Nice or Miramas for the that night. There wasn’t any, just an overnight train to Cannes via Paris. 130€
15.50: At the wrong train station - run in the rain for a taxi to TGV station - Damm it!
16.10: Arrived at TGV station and run for my train which was due to leave in 2 minutes.
16.15: Train departs to Paris Nord. I flop on my seat with relief. Call home and Monsieur X, (he had calmed down) with my travel updates. Switch off phone again. Tried to relax.
18.05: Arrived in Paris it was good I had four hours before my next train journey, or I would have been shitting myself.
18.20: I took the Metro from Paris Nord to Paris Austerlitz. I wouldn’t believe I was travelling around France and Paris on my own, especially when the Metro train came out of the tunnel into the Paris sunshine over the River Seine and then walking past the tacky souvenir shops of Eiffel Towers of all sizes and materials.
18.35 - 20.25: I walked around Paris, tired and lonely. I found a shower room in another train station, I was so dirty and so was the shower room, so I cut my losses and when back to Austerlitz train station where I noticed there was a shower room there (eh oui very French). I thought it was just a hairdressers. I had a shower, and felt a million times better, mainly because I wouldn’t be to scruffy when I would met Monsieur X the next morning then waited for my train. Merde only 2 bars left on my mobile.
My back was starting to hurt as my medium sized sports bag had no wheels, so I had been carrying it on my shoulders for most of the day, my shoulders were so red it looked like sunburn and they hurt for most of my stay.
22.25: Found my seat at the cheap end of the night train. I never booked a bed as it would have been around 400€. Called home and Monsieur X again to update them and wish them Good Night and switched off the phone again. Bonne Nuit Paris.
22.50: Train to Cannes departed, I had no trouble sleeping on my uncomfortable seat, has I was so tired. I woke up around 6am, I had been travelling for over 24 hours and all the hassle and stress this journey caused me was made a little bit worth it seeing the French countryside and coast at sunrise. I switched my phone back on, I was down to one bar of battery, hoping it would not go flat until I was with Monsieur X.
8.30am 18/05 : I had reached my destination - Cannes train station. I looked a mess and walking up the steep stairs, my back felt like it was going to snap but seeing Monsieur X’s gorgeous smile at the top of the stairs made me feel my 31 hour trip was totally worth it as I flopped into his strong arms...
Number 15 - hmmmm an idea for a film....take it to Cannes....
To be continued.
